Elizabeth McIntyre- Part Two Questions

1. On page 177, Turkle says "Again, technology, on its own, does not cause this new way of relating to our emotions and other people. But it does make it easy. Over time, a new style of being with each other becomes socially sanctioned." She also says "...if we can be continually in touch, needing to be continually in touch does not seem a problem or a pathology but an accommodation to what technology affords. It becomes the norm.” What happens when you’re with someone constantly? How can you be your own person if you are with someone all the time and now expanding on in the world? What exactly is the norm?

When you are constantly with someone, it feels as if they kind of become a part of you. The longer you’re with them the more you realize that you start to pick up on a lot of their mannerisms. No matter the type of relationship, friendship or a romantic one, it starts to feel as though you are one person and although you are constantly with them you never actually want them to leave either. I feel like there isn’t really a norm when it comes to relationships. I think relationships are what you make of them and I you try to follow what other relationships are like, that is when they start to fail. No two relationships are the same. I think it’s also important to know who you are without that person, but I do believe that you can be your own even when you’re with them. Just because you spend all your time with someone doesn’t mean you start to lose yourself. I think to expand in the world you have to have that someone that you’d want to constantly be with because if not then the world would be lonely. Technology is a way for people to stay in contact even when they are apart, and although there are certain times where it can be overused, I think it is now an important part of what keeps relationships alive. Especially when talking about long distance relationships nowadays. I think we rely on technology when it comes to keeping in contact with the people with choose to have relationships with and in some cases technology is the only form of keeping in contact. To some that might seem scary, but in a lot of ways we are very lucky having this now. Relationships are what keep us going and if technology is now a way for us to keep in constant contact with someone then I guess technology is now the norm. Although there are no norms when it comes to relationships, I think that involving technology in a relationship is now the norm. Relationships used to work because there was no such thing as technology and the way of communication was either face to face or in letters, but now with their being all sorts of technology, such as social media, it’s important to stay in contact with someone not just through liking pictures or posts. Technology in itself has become a norm and I believe that in order for most relationships to work nowadays, involving technology in a relationship also has to be a norm. It’s important for people to stay connected to those people they choose to have relationships with and technology is one of the main ways to do so.

2. In the middle of page 232, Turkle is talking to a man named Darren about using confessional sites. Darren explains “when he and his friends confess, they make up fake screen names.” He then says “We put our secrets up, and we just want to show it to a stranger, not a friend but a stranger. You want to express your emotion. You write it down and write it on the website and you just want a stranger who doesn’t know you to look at it. Not your friends.” How is this supposed to make them find someone they are comfortable with? Why wouldn’t you want someone to talk to about those things that you are close to? Someone you want to tell secrets to. Does this lead to problems making people sick or feel regret?

I don’t think that they are trying to find someone they can be comfortable with. I think the whole point of being able to tell a complete stranger is that you never again have to relive that issue or problem. Whereas telling someone you are friends with and comfortable with, there is a possibility that it could be held over your head. They probably have a lot of people that they can talk to and count on, but sometimes it’s easy to say things to a stranger than to those that you are close to. I think a common mistake is always going to people and thinking you need help and then they try to fix you. When in reality, sometimes all you need to do is vent and let it go. It’s important to have a balance in life and part of that is being able to let go of what is bothering you. I don’t think that issues or problems occur when you don’t have someone to comfort you, I think the issue comes from bottling things up inside of you and never letting them out. Issues occur when you hide your secrets away and you are left feeling miserable and alone. I think having someone to talk to anonymously and not having to worry about if you are being judged or if they will try and fix you could help alleviate a lot of people’s sicknesses, like depression. I don’t think it is wrong at all for people to use fake screen names, like Darren said, “we put our secrets up, and we just want to show it to a stranger, not a friend but a stranger.” I think he understands that it is important to let these emotions out and with the technology that we have been given it makes it a lot easier to express these emotions without the feeling of constantly being judged by those you love. In most cases I believe that hiding behind a screen is cowardly, but in those cases people choose to hide behind the screen to hurt people but avoid the consequences. In those cases, I do believe that it leads to sicknesses and regret because they are not only hurting other people but they are also hurting themselves. In Darren’s case however, I believe he is using it to better himself. I think as long as technology is used in a positive way, it could never lead to issues. If someone isn’t ready to completely expose themselves to their friends I think it is completely okay to do it anonymously online where you feel safe. And that also doesn’t mean that they don’t feel comfortable with anyone, it just means they aren’t ready to share whatever is bothering them with those they see all the time.

3. On page 155, Turkle starts to note that kids now days are always on their phones, even when hanging with other people. They seem to not be able to escape the digital realm. Why do you think this generation of kids/teenagers have a fixation to our phones? What changed between generations that caused this shift?

I think this generation of kids only know of a world that involves constantly using a phone for every circumstance. It’s become an easier way to communicate with people and allows us to be in constant conversation with people. Before phones were created and before texting was created, in order for people to communicate they had to meet up in person or call each other on the phone. When texting came around, it made it easier for people to communicate and not feel the need to constantly see the person they are talking to. This comes into play even when we are with other people because we don’t have to feel so “trapped” with only being able to talk to those people that are around us. Social media also plays a deep role in the fact that kids can never put their phone down because not only does it allow you to communicate with others but it allows you to have a glimpse into their daily lives. This fixation with our cellphones definitely came when texting was introduced to the world and it developed even further when social media became more popular. There was a major shift in the way kids were being raised when people in my generation started to have kids. I grew up playing outside with my next-door neighbors and constantly playing sports or doing things that involved moving around. I was only allowed to have a cellphone when I got into middle school because I played sports so I had to call my parents when practice was over. Even then, the cell phone could only be used for calling. I feel like kids now are always playing video games or playing games on the iPad, they have a cell phone when they are like 6 or 7, and most of them don’t even play outside anymore. The shift happened when we started allowing children to be involved with technology that we weren’t even introduced to till we were in high school. It seems that we have let cellphones become this god in our life that we believe we can’t live without it. We base our relationships on what their social media is telling us instead of having real life conversations. This is also why so many relationships nowadays are ruin by social media, because we let the fact that someone poses for a picture with someone, or likes a picture of someone, or follows someone create conflict in our lives when the only way to know for sure is through actual communication. Kids now are so fixated on their phones because it gives them glimpses into everyone else’s lives, but I think it’s important to remember to focus on your own and not let technology have the power over your own life.

4. On page 171, the concept of texting and driving is talked about with teens.  I can't help, but think of addiction.  How can texting and driving be the same as driving under the influence?  How can texting be the new drug addiction?

I feel like part of this response is going to be similar to my response above, but texting and driving can be similar to driving under the influence because the focus that should be on the road is somewhere else. If your full attention is not being given to the task at hand, driving, then there’s a very good chance that you could cause harm to others and to yourself. Driving under the influence wouldn’t be illegal if it was possible for everyone to remain in their right mind and be able to focus on getting from point A to point B safely. When you are texting and driving, it’s not so much that you aren’t in the right mindset but your mind is focused on something else. Both are pulling focus and both can cause major harm to others and to yourself. Addiction can be defined as a dependency of a habit. You can have an addiction to just about anything, a person, a TV show, literally anything. I think it’s pretty easy to think of texting as a drug addiction, but not only texting. I would say cellphones in general. Having our cellphones wherever we go is definitely a dependency, we believe that we can’t go anywhere without it. Texting is more like a habit. It’s something we do right when we wake up in the morning till the time we go to sleep at night. It’s something that we rely on so much that we can’t even wait to text someone back till we are out of the shower. I had a friend that told me she only got a waterproof case so that she could take her phone into the shower with her so that she wouldn’t have to stop texting her boyfriend. Not saying that everyone goes to that extent, but I believe that she is not the only one that has at least thought of this idea. Texting/ cellphones have ruined a lot of lives if you think about it, especially when you put into the realm of texting and driving. There is a statistic that says that 1 out of every 4 car accidents is cause by texting and driving. Nearly 1.3 million people die from car accidents in a year and ¼ of that is about 257,500 per year that die from texting and driving. To put that into perspective with drug overdoses: 54,404 people die on average from drug overdoses. Both of those numbers are terrifying to me, but what is more terrifying is that almost every human being on this earth has a cellphone, and texting and driving is one of the most common ways to die. If texting really is the new drug addiction then we all should be prepared for its consequences.